So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Found the puke drawer
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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