He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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