girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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