I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
