moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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