Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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