I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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