just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
