All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
