Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
