She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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