you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
