my phone cant type all the emotion im having
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
