Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Who died my cat blue again?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
