this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
