This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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