I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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