Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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