its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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