he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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