Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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