There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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