i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
my sisters under your porch take her home
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
