i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize