Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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