tell your sister to shave her snatch
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize