Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Vodka?
Forever.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
