if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
