Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize