Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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