would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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