I will die if light touches me.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
