Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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