DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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