You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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