I can tuck mytits in my pants
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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