I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
