please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
