If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
