well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Did you just see the Batmobile???
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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