I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I am available for nakedness
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
