i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
