You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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