You smell like a Billy Joel song
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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