What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
