Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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