Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
