spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
