My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
