dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
