he shaved USA in his pubs
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
