im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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