Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
