so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
