took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
