First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
