White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
