The maid of honor just puked.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
