You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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