we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize