We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
