I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
