Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
zippers are such a cool invention
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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